Help Me, Help Me, I'm No Good at Goodbyes

Breaking up is hard to do. 

Train and their "50 Ways To Say Goodbye" will help you, help you, get you through.

Can’t face telling your friends you got dumped? Take a few cues here on ways to tell them your ex is no longer with us. Festive mariachi... poppy rock... humorous lyrics... it’s all just good silly fun.

MUST see hilarious video:

LYRICS:
My heart was paralyzed
My head was over-sized
I'll take the high road like I should
You said, "It's meant to be.
That it's not you it's me."
You're leaving now for my own good
That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
She went down in an airplane
Fried getting sun tanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died
My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Someday I'll find a love likes yours
She'll think I'm Superman
Not Super Minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?
That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in the hot tub
Danced to death at an East Side nightclub
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died
I want to live a thousand lives with you
I want to be the one you're dying to love
But you don't want to…

Now if you're counting, that’s only ELEVEN ways to lose a lover.
I added to Train’s list to make a quick and dirty 50 ways:     

          1)      Went down in an airplane

          2)      Fried getting sun tanned

          3)      Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand

          4)      Met a shark under water

          5)      Fell and no one caught her

          6)      Was caught in a mudslide

          7)      Eaten by a lion

          8)      Got run over by a crappy purple Scion

          9)      Dried up in the desert

        10)   Drowned in the hot tub

        11)   Danced to death at an East Side nightclub

        12)   Caught cat scratch fever

        13)   Was gnawed by an angry beaver

        14)   Gazed directly at Medusa

        15)   Vanished in Tuscaloosa

        16)   Tripped on the treadmill

        17)   Rollerbladed downhill

        18)   Stepped on banana peel

        19)   Shocked by an electric eel

        20)   Dreamt about Freddy Krueger

        21)   Tried to tame a wild cougar

        22)   Surfed in a typhoon

        23)   Pierced with a harpoon

        24)   Blood sucked by a vampire

        25)   Lost balance on a high wire

        26)   Journeyed down a manhole

        27)   Fell asleep on cruise control

        28)   Break-danced with a porcupine

        29)   Went belly up in a vat of wine

        30)   1,000 paper cuts that wouldn’t heal

        31)   Ate a bad Chinese meal

        32)   Played footsie with a grizzly bear

        33)   Thought they could walk on air

        34)   Hit by lightening on a sunny day

        35)   Circled by a bird of prey

        36)   Choked on a chicken bone

        37)   Couldn’t pass a kidney stone

        38)   Toxic rainstorm without an umbrella

        39)   Fatal case of salmonella

        40)   Piranha came to skinny dip

        41)   Walked the plank on a pirate ship

        42)   Sawed in half by a senile magician

        43)   Coronary in missionary position

        44)   Head shrunken up on a pole

        45)   Heart literally turned to coal

        46)   Parachute opened at ground level

        47)   Sold their soul, cheap, to the devil

        48)   Swallowed up by a whale, Karma did indeed prevail

        49)   Rendezvoused with Sasquatch

        50)   Nasty flea infestation of the crotch

So help me, help me, I'm all out of lies.          
       

Comment and share some of your creative and wild ways to say goodbye. I would love to hear to them.