Saturday, October 13, 2012

Chivalry Dead?

                    Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!  
                    Come out, come out wherever you are, Chivalry!
                    Are you there Chivalry?!?
                    Let’s all go home girls.
                    Chivalry isn’t gonna come out of hiding today.
Okay guys, just relax. This is not going to be an estrogen-laden-male-bash-blog-tour de force, although, you never know when one of them there just might pop-up. God knows I have plenty of material along those lines. Writer’s block? Pffft. The male gender has given me plenty to vent about. My keyboard is ready, willing and able. So watch those p’s and q’s boys.

Despite what many say, I believe chivalry is not dead.  It might not be kickin’ it hard like it used to, but it is still alive. 

Gone are the days of brave knights and noblemen decked out in armor that made it their duty and pleasure to honor and be gallant towards women. Hell. Gone are the days that you can even expect and assume every man will be polite and decent to you. 

Modern day chivalry is not as overt. As we “damsels in distress” have become stronger and more independent, chivalry has become weaker and frailer. It’s evolution. Fewer opportunities for our Knights in Shining Armor to come to the rescue and save us. It doesn’t mean we don’t like those chivalrous moments, however. Last time I checked, we are still “woman” and like “men” so it will only behoove you to act like a man, preferable a “gentleman.”

I’ve been lucky and most (not ALL) guys have been chivalrous in the new-age sense towards me. Want to make us feel special and appreciated?
  • Open doors for us (Yes, we can open them ourselves and we barely even expect this anymore. Bonus points for you!)
  • Compliment her when she looks nice (She probably spent a lot of time picking out an outfit and getting ready for you. It’s nice if we feel it wasn’t all for naught.)
  • Conversely, dress for a date (If you wear your every day garb every time, are we not worth a little extra effort? You will look hotter. You will benefit. Trust me.)
  • Offer to carry heavy packages (We may or may not need the upper body workout, but having a “spotter” is probably a welcomed gesture.)
  • If it’s cold, offer us your jacket (Can’t smooch if your teeth are chattering.)
  • If it’s raining, offer to drop us off at the door (From a curly haired girl, do offer or at least have an umbrella handy. Add water? My hair will go “Hulk” on your ass. It won’t turn green, but it won’t be pretty.)

Such a scant amount of effort, right? Simple common courtesies. Do them. It won’t kill ya. We aren’t expecting you to slay dragons for God’s sake, although, the occasional slaying of a spider would really be wonderful. 
I got this!!

We will be grateful for what amounts to mere politeness. We will believe that you respect woman and want to treat them accordingly. Your Momma raised you right.

Just this week at work I saw “Chivalry” in action, proving it is not a thing of the past. A female co-worker sitting at her desk struggling to get her water bottle open. Cue her “Prince” who quickly jumps up and runs to her rescue. The “Prince” here being played by the real-life version of Family Guy’s Peter Griffin, then add smell-a-vision. 

Peter Le Pew also can not open the bottle. Twisting. Turning. Grunting. Thankfully not belching, burping or expelling any other kinds of gases, as he does this often. The bottle is shut tight. He needs “traction.” What better thing to use than his shirt which is tucked deep into his pants? Pulling, pulling and pulling it out of his drawers which rivaled a clown with a magic handkerchief; he finally used the bottom edge of his shirt and is able to “conquer” the unyielding bottle. The woman sat unbelievably quiet, dumbfounded, but managed to blurt out a “thank you.”

Meg Ryan once said, “I heard that chivalry was dead, but I think it’s just got a bad flu.”
In this case, I believe it just needed a shower and a clean shirt?

But alas, it is alive!! ALIVE!!

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