Monday, May 28, 2012

Kittens, Bunnies and Birdies! Oh my!

Cell phones reduce fertility!?

Laptop fertility warnings?!?

Heated car seats can lead to a reduction in fertility?!?!?

Well… NOT in my house.  My house has been very “fruitful” as of late.  It is the proverbial Land of Milk and Honey, or conceivably (pun intended) the Land of Ovulation and Fertilization?!?

Critter baby count since April is currently at 16!!

Now I’m not sure what’s going on here at me casa?  Perhaps the stork has my address programed in his GPS? Or a shit ton of fertility dust has been dumped on my house?  In any event, I am now referring to myself as the Goddess of Fertility, GOF for short.  Please see me if you are wanting to be in “the family way.”

Starting off this baby boom was my hoochie mama cat, Mamasita Sophia, with her three day long troll around our neighborhood producing the first three babies.  A black and white cat we’ve seen roaming around is believed to be the baby daddy.  We are trying to collect kitten support… he’s denying the whole thing.  Dead beat!

Awww… aren’t they cute!!
It ain't only feline fertility going on over here. Add four to GOF’s count. And bunnies make seven!! I totally ran over their nest cutting the grass. Thankfully, they were all saved from the jaws of death (aka the lawnmower). Whew!!  A bunny massacre would not look good on the Goddess of Fertility’s resume.

One went hoppin' down the bunny trail before I could take this pic
Birdies next… add three!  One unfortunately didn’t make it.  Rest in peace baby birdie.  One black mark on GOF’s progressing clean and good record.

“Reproducing like rabbits?” Yep!  Of course GOF’s house is no exception to this rule, as the final litter of six were baby bunnies once again.  That makes 16 babies in 53 days.

Now I can not correlate this trend to humans yet.  Regardless, I felt I needed to put a disclaimer out there.  I’ve just hung this sign at my front door.

Heed the warning!  GOF will not be responsible for any “oopsies” out there.  Well, not of the human variety anyways.

Now if you’ve been looking to add to your family… in that case, I take full credit.  You are welcome!!  My bill is in the mail.

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