I’ve Come a Long Way Baby

Who had a birthday?

I had a birthday!

A mini-milestone of sorts, as I like to call it. 45. Yep. 45.

45 years old.

Or young??!

I passed through my 20’s and 30’s with little to no dread. Even 40. Came and went without incident. But 45? Pending anxiety rose deep inside of me, much like acid reflux or some other old-timers condition that is sure to be awaiting me in the very near future. Heartburn, that this, this year, just might be the year to change all of that. That the “happy” would be far removed from the “birthday.” That, perhaps, standing high on the top of the bell-curve of my forties would feel like “it’s all downhill from here Sista.”

I put my closest friends on alert that I wasn't sure if I will want to celebrate this year. Stay tuned girlfriends. But as the day drew closer, spending a night huddled up in my bed, possibly with a cat or two at my side, on the day of my birth sounded like a completely horrible idea. Whew.

Plans were made. The big day arrived and I was in a great and grateful mood. (Hint: “grateful” is a perfect catalyst to “great” things)

So now here I stand, 45, balancing on the peak of this decade. Being able to see clearly where I’ve been and what might be in store for me.

How’s the view from up here you ask? Let me tell you, the view is beautiful.

Your past does not predestine your future.

I look down the curve towards my past, where I've been, what I've done. The memories, while they are vivid in my mind; barely feel like they are my own any longer.

An evening many years ago, there was a single mother standing on one foot, the other foot freshly broken, making a box of Macaroni and Cheese for the gourmet square dinner of the day to feed her two young children. Her source of income threatened as she was a waitress, not enough reserve funds for even a gallon of milk, and an ex-husband who supported the race track or bookie rather than his children. This all equaled a fiscal emergency in that exceptionally meager household.

Over the orange glow from an imitation cheese product, that mother decided to enroll in college.

She did just that.

She put a tiny graduation cap on her rear view mirror to look at everyday for inspiration. “Treasure mapping.” The physical representation of want you want to achieve.

She went to school and worked.

She worked and went to school.

She broke another bone. This time a finger in 3 places.

Many trials and tribulations in those years… but…

On Mother’s Day 2001 she graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting, in cap and gown, with her two children cheering her on in the audience. Doesn't get more “Kodak Moment” than that.

Of course, that “she” is me. I've come a long way baby. I can now afford dairy products. And then some. ;)

I trudged up and through hard times. Only distant memories now.

At 45, looking at the present and the future, I am lucky to have so many people around me that I care and respect. Warms my heart but certainly is not heartburn.

I proclaimed rather publicly, at work, on Facebook, or to any poor soul that had the misfortune to stroll pass me, that I will dance 45 songs at my celebration that evening in honor of the years I have been blessed with. A tradition I hadn't heard of before, but jumped, all too eagerly, at the idea when it was suggested to me. Thank you Mike Fong!

I recommend everyone start this tradition on their birthday. Pick something FUN.

Milestones – shimilestones.

This day was incredible. I danced my 45 songs and then some. On the 45th song I was in the middle of a circle formed by some of my favorite people in the world. A high point and I kept on dancing.

At 45 years old plus 1 day, I laid in my bed, wondering if anyone got the license plate number of the truck that ran me over? Every muscle, ligament and tendon in my body sore. If your blood can hurt, that, too was aching. Feet, knees, hips screaming at me and my non-stop dancing shoes (which were 5-inch heels of course). Nearly 5 hours of dancing is a lot. Who knew?

The old-timers conditions I so feared had arrived already. One. Day. In.

Bengay or not, I've come a long way baby and I've enjoyed dancing through a lot of it.

Happy Happy Birthday to Me!

A Letter to your Graduate

Graduations to the left of me… Graduations to the right of me.

‘Tis the season.

What a life-altering time it is for the graduates AND the parents.

When my son graduated from high school many years ago the school asked us to write letters that would be presented on their last day of school. What a cathartic experience it was for me. Essential even. Years later, it still resonates with me.

If you have a graduating child or will shortly, I really recommend doing this, and for that reason I’m sharing my letter.

To the Class of 2013

~ CONGRATULATIONS!!~

June 3, 2008

Corbin,

Being your mother has been and will always be one of the greatest joys and gifts in my life. On April 24^th, 1990 at 1:33 p.m., you were born; a perfect, little baby boy with a pelt of thick black wavy hair, golden skin, and a soft cry, and from that moment on my life would never be the same. I held you for the first time, your first seconds of life, you stared inquisitively at me, one eye squinting, lips puckered, tongue sticking out a bit, and from that moment forth my heart would never be the same. Words cannot begin to express how much you have meant to me and mean to me, how proud I am of you, and how much I love you. 

Who could imagine the immense impact that a mere 5-pound bundle would come to have? I’m positive I’m not alone in that statement. You have touched not only me, but many with your kindness, your compassion, the strength in your beliefs, your sense of humor, and your smile; just to throw a few things out there. 

You were my happy-go-lucky boy, with mounds of curls adorning an adorably pudgy face and with a personality that really stopped people in their tracks. You spread your joy around wherever we went. And I do mean wherever. It was the norm for you to hug and kiss all who crossed your path – family members, creatures great and small, complete strangers, the greeter at Wal-Mart (no lie). You did not care who. It was this enduring kindness that had me anxious… often. I didn’t want to smother your innocence, but at the same time I wanted to keep you safe in a world that, well, isn’t all that safe. I’m quite certain you were the only student in the history of Safety Town to go off with the decoy/bait “stranger” twice. TWICE! Miraculously, you stayed out of harm's way during your “love fest” phase. ~In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.~ All that being said, your heart is one of your greatest attributes. Never lose your ability to see all the good in people. Side note:  let me take this opportunity to formally and in writing apologize for not cutting your hair sooner, those untamed heaps of curls and allowing you walk around looking much like Bozo the clown for far, far too long. I loved it at the time, but in looking back at photos, I honestly don’t know what I was thinking? I guess I’m wrong every once in a while (now you have that in writing, too). 

From before your sister was even born, you were an amazing big brother. That holds true even today. At doctor’s appointments you’d eagerly find her heartbeat and could usually find it faster than the doctor. After she was born, you were so very proud as you walked around the hospital telling everyone, “that’s my baby.” You’d feed her, watch her every second and if I couldn’t find you, chances are you’d have scaled the crib and was just chilling and hanging out with lil Sis. At any one of her ER visits (and there were many), your instinct to “take care” of her was always well beyond your years. I’m grateful to have witnessed such a natural sense of responsibility.

As I told you on your 18^th birthday, and I say this through bittersweet tears, with great pride but also great sadness, I am truly proud of the man that you have become.  I could not be prouder of you. My sorrow only comes from the feeling that time has gone by much too quickly. It doesn’t seem remotely possible that 18 years have gone by since you first blessed this earth and my life and that you will be graduating from high school this very evening. I feel there is so much more I would like to do/have done with you . . . more vacations . . . more experiences . . . more memories . . . just plain and simply more.  Of course, there are many more good times to come, but now it is your turn to really take off.  Graduation is not the end; it's a new beginning.  Make me proud, Corbin, I know you will.  

I have learned over the years that time is one of our most precious commodities. Use your time wisely. Relish the good times. Surround yourself with people who make you happy, people who make you laugh, and people who encourage you to become a better person. Don’t spend valuable time with those that suffocate your hopes or ones that don’t help cultivate your dreams.  Don’t spend time with people who put you down or drag you down.

Experience all that life has to offer. Accept opportunities whenever you can.  Laugh often… until your eyes water and your sides hurt. Have lots of fun. Motherly caveat:  don’t be careless in your pursuit of fun, however. Be safe and cautious - don’t go near any balconies on spring break or the like – for the sake of my heart, don’t do any extreme sports, as I could not even handle watching you guys jump on the trampoline – and please, please, please don’t kiss the Wal-Mart greeter anymore. Really. Please. ;)

Find something to be happy about every single day. Happiness may not always come easily into your life, but there is always something you can be happy about, it is simply up to you to discover it. Always truly appreciate all that you already have and all of life’s blessings. You have always done this and I admire you for it. I always wished and it pains me that I couldn’t provide much more to both you and your sister. You never, not once, begrudged not having something and were always very appreciative and thankful for what you did have. You even told me once that we were rich (lol). Let me tell you right now, we are rich!!  Not rich financially, but we are rich in ways that cannot be obtained with any sum of money. And today, thanks to you, I feel especially “wealthy.”        

  

There’s a saying, “Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.” I hope that you select a major and wish you a career so that you can emulate just that, and will never work a day in your life. Nevertheless, bumps on the road of life are to be expected, but you cannot let them ruin your days.  Often, the times we gain the most in knowledge and experience are the most difficult periods in life.  So if things get tough, remember with patience, persistence and hard work you can and will make it through. 

So, dear Son, my golden child ;) ,  thank you for 18 wonderful years (plus 40 days)! I’m expecting 18 more after that and 18 more after that! Thank you for all the beautiful memories! Thank you for in all of your 18 years never ceasing to make me laugh. Thank you for the hours and hours and hours of you sitting on my lap and reading to you, especially “Are you my Mother?” Maybe I’ll read it to you one more time before you leave for college, different voices and all, huh? But sans the whole lap thing because that’s just weird and you are too big anyways.  Thank you for the 10,000+ times we watched “101 Dalmatians” together (never thought I’d be thanking you for that). Thank you for all the endless endearing Corbin chatter (that I will miss incredibly). Thank you for screaming with me and hugging me when I bought your car. Thank you for the Mother’s Day when you gave me roses, the way you came around Grandma’s yard with them and gave them to me and kissed me, like my night in shining armor. Thank you for always trying to be protective of me. Thank you for all the spider killing. What am I going to do now?? You are my favorite son!  J

So on this day, Tuesday, June 3^rd 2008, the things I will find to be happy about and let them fill my heart is . . . that you are my son . . . and that you are the greatest son I could possibly have wished for!   I Love you!  You will be missed deeply come September. Go Bucks!

Congratulations –    Class of 2008 

Love,

Mom

Everyday Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day is almost here!

Aside from the bounty of turkey and stuffing, the mounds of mashed potatoes swimming in homemade gravy, and the friends and family that surround us, it is often a day that we take a step back and reflect on what we are thankful for, big things, little things, things we often take for granted. 

Counting ones’ blessing is a surefire way to jump start feelings of gratitude.  

I stumbled across a prayer years ago and it really resonated with me. There have been some rough patches along the way, times that were tougher than I would have liked. Even with many personal and financial challenges, I realized that, I was so very blessed. Let me say that again. So. Very. Blessed.

I read this prayer before Thanksgiving dinner that year, choked up, tears streaming down my face, barely making it to the end:

Everyday Thanksgiving

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings each morning, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see. There are many who are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned and tempers are short, thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous, thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for the gift of life!

It has become our yearly Thanksgiving family tradition for me to recite this prayer. So simple and basic, but always gets to me and is always, always accompanied with tears. Today is no exception. Blubbering away. Tapping on my keyboard. Blubbering. Tapping.

“Every year a tear,” as my son cleverly put it. I’m blessed to have him in my life. One of my many blessings.

“Everyday Thanksgiving” has even spread to our Christmas traditions, as well as other family events. The attitude of “Everyday Thanksgiving” really ought to be a year-round outlook. Gratitude makes both the sweet and the sour in life sweeter.

What are you thankful for this year?

I am thankful for many things.

While I still assert myself as a non-cat person, I was blessed with a kitten family this year. My favorite little bundle of feline fur is an adorable white and black spotted kitten, akin to a dalmatian or a speckled cow, whom I appropriately named "Deja Moo."



Thank you Deja!! Silly cat that you are.

I’m grateful to have a son who became a college graduate. Proud Mamma. O – H – I – O!

I’m pleased that my family will soon be growing by adding a son-in-law to the mix in a few years, as my daughter is now happily engaged.

I’m thankful that I enjoyed a fun and sun filled vacation in Mexico this year with wonderful people that I’m blessed enough to call my friends.



I’m relieved that this year was a healthy one for my family and me. With a broken jaw for me and an appendicitis from hell for my daughter, the last few years were not as smooth sailing in that department.

I’m grateful that there are some real “turkeys” out there, for they make you appreciate the truly wonderful people that do exist. Some very nasty things were recently said about me and to me. Taken aback initially, in the long run I realized that I was now a strong enough person to not let a “sticks and stones” moment beat me down. One “turkey’s” unfounded opinion doesn’t change a single thing. Gobble, gobble that nonsense elsewhere, but thank you all the same for the affirmation that I am not any of those “words” you threw at me and that I have countless people who love, respect and care about me.

While I have been somewhat lax in my posts as of late, I’m grateful that by starting a blog this year I have fulfilled a dream of mine, to write. I have no idea whether I am a good blogger or not, nonetheless, I’m truly overwhelmed with the positive feedback I have received. Every comment, share and like have meant the world to me. Several people have even thanked me? Seriously? I’m humbled. Truly humbled.

So with that, I am thankful for all of YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Big Turkey Day hugs to everyone of you!

From the "Sherrie Sherrie QC" family to yours, "Happy Thanksgiving!"





Thankful for the cute pilgrim AND Indian pictured here. (Both are my daughter over the years)

Help Me, Help Me, I'm No Good at Goodbyes

Breaking up is hard to do. 

Train and their "50 Ways To Say Goodbye" will help you, help you, get you through.

Can’t face telling your friends you got dumped? Take a few cues here on ways to tell them your ex is no longer with us. Festive mariachi... poppy rock... humorous lyrics... it’s all just good silly fun.

MUST see hilarious video:

LYRICS:
My heart was paralyzed
My head was over-sized
I'll take the high road like I should
You said, "It's meant to be.
That it's not you it's me."
You're leaving now for my own good
That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
She went down in an airplane
Fried getting sun tanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died
My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Someday I'll find a love likes yours
She'll think I'm Superman
Not Super Minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?
That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in the hot tub
Danced to death at an East Side nightclub
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died
I want to live a thousand lives with you
I want to be the one you're dying to love
But you don't want to…

Now if you're counting, that’s only ELEVEN ways to lose a lover.
I added to Train’s list to make a quick and dirty 50 ways:     

          1)      Went down in an airplane

          2)      Fried getting sun tanned

          3)      Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand

          4)      Met a shark under water

          5)      Fell and no one caught her

          6)      Was caught in a mudslide

          7)      Eaten by a lion

          8)      Got run over by a crappy purple Scion

          9)      Dried up in the desert

        10)   Drowned in the hot tub

        11)   Danced to death at an East Side nightclub

        12)   Caught cat scratch fever

        13)   Was gnawed by an angry beaver

        14)   Gazed directly at Medusa

        15)   Vanished in Tuscaloosa

        16)   Tripped on the treadmill

        17)   Rollerbladed downhill

        18)   Stepped on banana peel

        19)   Shocked by an electric eel

        20)   Dreamt about Freddy Krueger

        21)   Tried to tame a wild cougar

        22)   Surfed in a typhoon

        23)   Pierced with a harpoon

        24)   Blood sucked by a vampire

        25)   Lost balance on a high wire

        26)   Journeyed down a manhole

        27)   Fell asleep on cruise control

        28)   Break-danced with a porcupine

        29)   Went belly up in a vat of wine

        30)   1,000 paper cuts that wouldn’t heal

        31)   Ate a bad Chinese meal

        32)   Played footsie with a grizzly bear

        33)   Thought they could walk on air

        34)   Hit by lightening on a sunny day

        35)   Circled by a bird of prey

        36)   Choked on a chicken bone

        37)   Couldn’t pass a kidney stone

        38)   Toxic rainstorm without an umbrella

        39)   Fatal case of salmonella

        40)   Piranha came to skinny dip

        41)   Walked the plank on a pirate ship

        42)   Sawed in half by a senile magician

        43)   Coronary in missionary position

        44)   Head shrunken up on a pole

        45)   Heart literally turned to coal

        46)   Parachute opened at ground level

        47)   Sold their soul, cheap, to the devil

        48)   Swallowed up by a whale, Karma did indeed prevail

        49)   Rendezvoused with Sasquatch

        50)   Nasty flea infestation of the crotch

So help me, help me, I'm all out of lies.          
       

Comment and share some of your creative and wild ways to say goodbye. I would love to hear to them.

Chivalry Dead?

                    Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!  

                    Come out, come out wherever you are, Chivalry!

                              *Crickets*

                    Chiiivvvaaalllrrryyyy!!!!

                              *Crickets*

                    Are you there Chivalry?!?

                              *Crickets*

                    Hel-looo. 

                    Hello??

                    Sigh…

                    Let’s all go home girls.

                    Chivalry isn’t gonna come out of hiding today.

 

Okay guys, just relax. This is not going to be an estrogen-laden-male-bash-blog-tour de force, although, you never know when one of them there just might pop-up. God knows I have plenty of material along those lines. Writer’s block? Pffft. The male gender has given me plenty to vent about. My keyboard is ready, willing and able. So watch those p’s and q’s boys.

Despite what many say, I believe chivalry is not dead.  It might not be kickin’ it hard like it used to, but it is still alive. 

Gone are the days of brave knights and noblemen decked out in armor that made it their duty and pleasure to honor and be gallant towards women. Hell. Gone are the days that you can even expect and assume every man will be polite and decent to you. 

Modern day chivalry is not as overt. As we “damsels in distress” have become stronger and more independent, chivalry has become weaker and frailer. It’s evolution. Fewer opportunities for our Knights in Shining Armor to come to the rescue and save us. It doesn’t mean we don’t like those chivalrous moments, however. Last time I checked, we are still “woman” and like “men” so it will only behoove you to act like a man, preferable a “gentleman.”

I’ve been lucky and most (not ALL) guys have been chivalrous in the new-age sense towards me. Want to make us feel special and appreciated?

• Open doors for us (Yes, we can open them ourselves and we barely even expect this anymore. Bonus points for you!)
• Compliment her when she looks nice (She probably spent a lot of time picking out an outfit and getting ready for you. It’s nice if we feel it wasn’t all for naught.)
• Conversely, dress for a date (If you wear your every day garb every time, are we not worth a little extra effort? You will look hotter. You will benefit. Trust me.)
• Offer to carry heavy packages (We may or may not need the upper body workout, but having a “spotter” is probably a welcomed gesture.)
• If it’s cold, offer us your jacket (Can’t smooch if your teeth are chattering.)
• If it’s raining, offer to drop us off at the door (From a curly haired girl, do offer or at least have an umbrella handy. Add water? My hair will go “Hulk” on your ass. It won’t turn green, but it won’t be pretty.)

Such a scant amount of effort, right? Simple common courtesies. Do them. It won’t kill ya. We aren’t expecting you to slay dragons for God’s sake, although, the occasional slaying of a spider would really be wonderful. 

I got this!!

We will be grateful for what amounts to mere politeness. We will believe that you respect woman and want to treat them accordingly. Your Momma raised you right.

Just this week at work I saw “Chivalry” in action, proving it is not a thing of the past. A female co-worker sitting at her desk struggling to get her water bottle open. Cue her “Prince” who quickly jumps up and runs to her rescue. The “Prince” here being played by the real-life version of Family Guy’s Peter Griffin, then add smell-a-vision. 

Peter Le Pew also can not open the bottle. Twisting. Turning. Grunting. Thankfully not belching, burping or expelling any other kinds of gases, as he does this often. The bottle is shut tight. He needs “traction.” What better thing to use than his shirt which is tucked deep into his pants? Pulling, pulling and pulling it out of his drawers which rivaled a clown with a magic handkerchief; he finally used the bottom edge of his shirt and is able to “conquer” the unyielding bottle. The woman sat unbelievably quiet, dumbfounded, but managed to blurt out a “thank you.”

Meg Ryan once said, “I heard that chivalry was dead, but I think it’s just got a bad flu.”

In this case, I believe it just needed a shower and a clean shirt?

But alas, it is alive!! ALIVE!!