Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!
Come out, come out wherever you are, Chivalry!
*Crickets*
Chiiivvvaaalllrrryyyy!!!!
*Crickets*
Are you there Chivalry?!?
*Crickets*
Hel-looo.
Hello??
Sigh…
Let’s all go home girls.
Chivalry isn’t gonna come out of hiding today.
Okay guys, just relax. This is not going to be an
estrogen-laden-male-bash-blog-tour de force, although, you never know when one
of them there just might pop-up. God knows I have plenty of material along
those lines. Writer’s block? Pffft. The male gender has given me plenty to vent
about. My keyboard is ready, willing and able. So watch those p’s and q’s boys.
Despite what many say, I believe chivalry is not
dead. It might not be kickin’ it hard
like it used to, but it is still alive.
Gone are the days of brave knights and noblemen decked out in armor that made it their duty and pleasure to honor and be gallant towards women. Hell. Gone are the days that you can even expect and assume every man will be polite and decent to you.
Modern day chivalry is not as overt. As we “damsels in
distress” have become stronger and more independent, chivalry has become weaker
and frailer. It’s evolution. Fewer opportunities for our Knights in Shining
Armor to come to the rescue and save us. It doesn’t mean we don’t like those
chivalrous moments, however. Last time I checked, we are still “woman” and like
“men” so it will only behoove you to act like a man, preferable a “gentleman.”
I’ve been
lucky and most (not ALL) guys have been
chivalrous in the new-age sense towards me. Want to make us feel special and
appreciated?
- Open doors for us (Yes, we can open them ourselves and we barely even expect this anymore. Bonus points for you!)
- Compliment her when she looks nice (She probably spent a lot of time picking out an outfit and getting ready for you. It’s nice if we feel it wasn’t all for naught.)
- Conversely, dress for a date (If you wear your every day garb every time, are we not worth a little extra effort? You will look hotter. You will benefit. Trust me.)
-
Offer to carry heavy packages (We may or may not need the upper body workout, but having a “spotter” is probably a welcomed gesture.)
- If it’s cold, offer us your jacket (Can’t smooch if your teeth are chattering.)
- If it’s raining, offer to drop us off at the door (From a curly haired girl, do offer or at least have an umbrella handy. Add water? My hair will go “Hulk” on your ass. It won’t turn green, but it won’t be pretty.)
I got this!! |
We will be grateful for what amounts to mere politeness. We will believe that you respect woman and want to treat them accordingly. Your Momma raised you right.
Peter Le
Pew also can not open the bottle. Twisting. Turning. Grunting. Thankfully not
belching, burping or expelling any other kinds of gases, as he does this often.
The bottle is shut tight. He needs “traction.” What better thing to use than
his shirt which is tucked deep into
his pants? Pulling, pulling and pulling it out of his drawers which rivaled a clown with a
magic handkerchief; he finally used the bottom edge of his shirt and is able to
“conquer” the unyielding bottle. The woman sat unbelievably quiet, dumbfounded,
but managed to blurt out a “thank you.”
Meg Ryan once said, “I heard that chivalry was dead, but I think it’s just got a bad flu.”
In this
case, I believe it just needed a shower and a clean shirt?
But alas,
it is alive!! ALIVE!!
No comments:
Post a Comment